I have the same problem with every creative endeavor I try to take on: the asshole in my head.
From acting to writing to blogging to drawing, I always start off great. Sooner or later, however, the asshole walks in the door and paralyzes me. The only creative endeavor I have been able to pull off for any length of time is acting.
I acted on stage for over 30 years with the asshole’s screams getting louder each day. Anxiety and fear grew inside me with each performance. Instead of getting more relaxed and confident with experience, I grew more nervous, more afraid. The only thing that helped me continue performing for as long as I did was I was just talented enough to not let the asshole ruin the performance. Barely.
I don’t have acting to turn to anymore and the asshole is kicking me in the man-nuggs every time I try to do anything else.
So, the new mantra is, “Don’t Think.”
If I can go for one hundred words with my head down and hit the publish button before I realize the asshole is screaming at me somewhere in the background maybe I can … I don’t know … at least have a hundred words that weren’t there before.